Today has been a day of more than 2 halves. I was told I was too emotional and too emotionally involved. Don;t get me wrong, I know I am too emotional. I have BPD for fuck’s sake. Everything is emotional to me. I don’t mind being called emotional apart from when it is used as negative, and that is what it was used as today. That phrase made me feel not understood at all, mental health not understood at all. Me – am I broken? Am I not meant to be emotional about things that tug at my heart and my mind, things that are out of my control to sort out.
But at least it ended with a lovely catch up with one of my nearest and dearest. We both needed a vent and to get out our feelings rather than carry them onto the next day. I felt lighter but stronger after speaking to her and felt that I had this, whatever this is. Well a little bit more than I had felt earlier. The cold night’s sky getting through to my bones when I was cycling, really did genuinely make me feel alive.
Katie's blog on life 