Fruitful day

Today, I am cream crackered but not in a vulnerable, negative emotional kind of way but in a fulfilled happy positive kind of way. I came to see some good friends yesterday after an important therapy session. It had been a hard week, well hard weekend last weekend followed by a bad start of the week. But on Wednesday I forced myself and my body out on a run – a too long run mind but a run that my soul and my body needed. I ran for 1 hour 10 and over 10 km. I came home knackered but ready to fight. Fight for me and for my life. Anyway, I digress. This weekend, I came home to see my best friend. This morning we did our first ever park run. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be but I felt good running some of it with her, especially the end. We supported and encouraged each other. Her husband and young bubba supported us too. It felt great having someone supporting and caring how well we did I felt love and care. Following on from that, we had a board games at another friend’s house which was sooo wonderful. Now, I’m not really a board game lover but that game – Altiplano was really a good crack. A fantastic weekend so far, and not yet over. Although bed time is definitely calling me soon.

I have eaten too much and socialised a little too much for my introvert ways but I would much rather have a weekend like this than a weekend spent with an alcoholic housemate who mates me feel uneasy and unsafe. A person who makes me question my place in the world and unsure of who I am. I have recently been thinking about my living sitution , not in a negative spiral kind of way but in a thinking – really thinking kind of way. Thinking, that well maybe I am not better than my living situation. That maybe I have been thrust again into a situation that I can’t control and maybe having breakdown after breakdown, crisis after crisis, relapse after relapse has taught me that I need to get out of there.

Anyways time to hit the hay as I am cream crackered.

Night!