Lockdown has changed me. These days, I spend my time listening to people and talking about them and their lives. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere and I don’t want to talk about myself. I feel trapped in this kind of charade where I have to keep up appearances – keep on doingContinue reading “Double edged sword.”
Tag Archives: mental illness
Is there still stigmatisation in the NHS regarding mental illness?
`I personally think there is, regarding certain mental health conditions. I re reffered myself to the local IAPT on Tuesday morning as I have been noticing a few things about my behaviour. Not self harm type beahaviours, not suicidal thoughts but patterns in behaviour such as crying when dealing with confrontation, a shorter fuse, notContinue reading “Is there still stigmatisation in the NHS regarding mental illness?”
Doctor’s appointment
Buzzed in and waiting like a member of the MI5. ” Who are you here to see? ” And so I state whom. Through the next set of doors. Wash your hands here and head to to 3rd floor reception where someone will sign you in again. Up I trundle, the stairs making my foreheadContinue reading “Doctor’s appointment”
Father’s day, smarthers day.
From as far as I can remember this has always been a difficult day for me. Up until 2 years ago I felt forced to see my father, find a card that had words in it that I didn’t mean. But there was never a card that said ” Thanks for never being there, thanksContinue reading “Father’s day, smarthers day.”
Feeling hurt…
When somone close to you posts a picture and a caption for mental health awareness week bout their own struggles which firstly you didn’t know anything about and then then that part of the caption says “make sure you check in with those near to you”. Like that’s one big fuck you if ever IContinue reading “Feeling hurt…”
Living in an unsuitable environment…..
How can I just know? How can my body just know when A is drunk again? It’s like my mind completely switches in on itself. My emotions go from happy and care free to sad and frustrated and stuck. Am I so attuned to behaviour like that, exhibited from my own father in childhood thatContinue reading “Living in an unsuitable environment…..”
Video calls got me thinking…..
I haven’t belly laughed like that in ages – there is something beautiful about being altogether with your siblings and your Mumma and laughing- feeling comfortable and bouncing off of each other. I mean we soent most of the video call laughing at Mumma trying to sort the audio and the picture on the videoContinue reading “Video calls got me thinking…..”
Fucks sake
I just wrote an incredibly good blog post about what’s going on for me – how I think I’m actually okay and happy but I keep waking up early early – 5 am and today 4. My head hurts and all my words were used on the last post that magically disappeared. I’m having theseContinue reading “Fucks sake”
Fight,fight, fight.
I don’t think people realise how much strength it requires to fight ones mind on a daily basis. I had a terrible nights sleep followed by a morning lazing in bed. That just led me to deconstructive and irrational thoughts. I wasnt calling anyone and I wasn’t texting anyone back. So what I did wasContinue reading “Fight,fight, fight.”
Having EUPD and being on lockdown
Is truly not the one. My emotions are just so flighty at the moment and everything feels difficult. I range from being deliriously happy to suicidal in the hour. My concentration span has been shred into a hundred thousand pieces and my resilience seems to have removed itself from my body. I feel scared andContinue reading “Having EUPD and being on lockdown”
Katie's blog on life 